My thoughts run 100 million miles every second of every minute and usually consists of a mixture of useless knowledge and complete randomness.
Like my own personal light bulb that never turns off inside my head..
Ive been thinking, all spoken or written communication should be conducted in similes and metaphors. Like for example: you wouldn’t be able to say, "I’m dead tired from lack of sleep." You’d say, "I feel like alcohol is pouring out of me by the gallon." Or instead of saying, "This is the happiest day of my life," you’d say, "I’m a pink bunny, frolicking on a grassy hillside in the morning sun." Human interaction would be a whole lot more fun this way, and there’s the added bonus that no one would know what anyone else was saying. Rarely is anybody else worth listening to anyway.
THATS JIBBER JABBER SON!
I’ve also found out that there’s nothing fun about "fun size" candy bars. One bite…Gone! What could be less fun? I think they should rename the little candy bars to "person who is not hungry size" and make a totally new -- big -- size of candy bar they could call "fun." We’re talking a Twix the size of a loaf of bread, here. Now that is fun!
and make it full size please :)
As a matter of fact, I think candy should be free. The state should fund free candy dispensers which would be attached to all street lights, signposts, and parking meters in the nation. In fact, a dumptruck full of sugar products should be plunked on each person’s front lawn on a daily basis. They should supply so much free candy that people wouldn’t want to steal any -- there wouldn’t be the need. This could only help the economy, as the state would maintain a constant flow of money into the candy business, which would mean tons of new jobs. And it would mean fewer medical emergencies for diabetics who abruptly realize their blood-sugar level is dangerously low -- there would always be a confectionary remedy on hand.
I know right?! I really just don’t see how this could go wrong.
Yeah so…the weirdest thing…I think I turned into myself this morning. But I’m not sure. I certainly don’t feel any different.
I wonder what would happen if we pronounced silent letters and not the letters that aren’t. It might be fun!
..im just saying...
Why can people NOT drive. This morning I was at a red light behind one other car. All the while, this guy was inching out, more and more, into the intersection, as if going really slow through a red light is ok. Eventually the other cars had to swerve around him to get by, but he seemed oblivious. But wait, there’s more. When the light finally turned green, he didn’t budge an inch. I had to honk to get him to move. I don’t have to tell you what I think of this.
Ha..yeah right. Atleast they'd know how to drive.
Hit up the MOG (atleast that’s what I think the kids are calling it these days) the other day, aka Mall of Georgia, and I get so frustrated every time I go because it is so ridiculously packed out, it makes me not ever want to go again. I still do though, go figure. I think a new law should be passed barring short cars from pulling too far into parking spaces, thus causing the optical illusion of a free parking space for people cruising down the lot looking for them. It would make life a lot better in my opinion.
I think I’m going to register the domain jjijiijjijiijjjjiijiijiiiijjijijjijijjijjijiij.com. No one will ever be able to type it in without cutting and pasting the text.
...yeahhhhh, i'm really not.
I run into my coffee table at home all the time. It sucks. So I’ve come to the conclusion that coffee tables serve two vital functions. They house magazines no one reads, and they trip you. Why do these units of furniture exist? I’m convinced no one actually likes them; I think people buy them just because they somehow became a mandatory living room component. Now if only I can get my wall mounted chair idea accepted into the standard furnishing convention, I’ll be a zillionaire.
Speaking of magazines...
What is it with magazines? If you take a magazine, hold it by the binding, and shake it around, more pages will fall out of it than not. This is because these pages are "inserts." Once upon a time, somebody thought it would be a good idea if certain parts of a magazine weren’t physically attached to the rest of it. I think I’m going to pay this person a visit with a razor blade in the middle of the night and turn all the pages in all his books into "inserts" and see how he likes it.
Oh how I cant stand you...stack of useless, colorful, loose, paper. Yeah I said it.
You know what blows...when you are riding down the road...radio on...and you hear a great song...and you think to yourself...YES I LOVE THIS SONG! You turn it up only for a slap in the face when the station goes nuts and all you here is static over the really good tune that you wanted to hear.
Which makes me love my iphone and music playlists even more.
..but I wont because I'm probably still trying to hear the song. Radio is dead.
Change: Cant live without going through it, and just about kills you when its happening. Leave me alone for awhile change.
so yeah..lay off for awhile yo!
I've decided I love Hippies. Maybe its because Ive always been one or maybe its because I'm was born in the wrong generation without a doubt...but its good people. Free at heart...free at mind...there's always good music involved and it's always chill. Why cant everyone just relax. forever.
What ever happened to the golden rule ..."treat others how you want to be treated" ....
See I was taught this very early on...and for the most part I can honestly say I live by this saying. What is wrong with some people. For all you meanies out there...it's called Karma...it will get you. Mark my words.
A thought on the weather lately...Good greif it's like serious global warming. Hope you paid attention in class back in the day. Cos it's happening. No doubt. And if you paid attention, please pass the notes. Thanks!
...um no its happening there too...
Found a new love for orbit gum recently. Definitly one of my favorites. When they come out with new flavors I wont lie, I get excited. They came out with this one called MINT MOJITO....ew....yeah...the excitement...well its dead now.. and so is orbit gum to me.
What a disappointment..
I keep wondering how my puppy grew up so fast. She's all grown up and is getting more sassy by the minute. She didn't get that from me and I'm not so sure that is acceptable yet. Its more than likely not.
...is it even possible to train her at this point? I'm guessing no.
Sometimes I sit and ponder....Hahaha kidding...come on now...rarely do I ever actually sit and ponder thoughts. Psh, please, I cant even slow down the brain long enough to ponder anything.
On a brighter note though I’ve decided that I am in love with dryer sheets. I always used them and all...and I didn’t use them the last time I dried my clothes and seriously..maybe it was a mind set thing, I don’t know..but I could tell the difference. So never again will I ever leave out my little pieces of joy.
Are insurance agents robots? Think about it, with all the details that go into learning someone and their life just to write a policy with sufficient coverage... like, they know stuff... everything just about...and not even because they want to.
Well first handedly speaking, the answer is NO. we arent. No we dont want to know about your divorce details, or if your kid is getting married, or about your dog, what you had to eat, or who you slept with last week. It doesnt effect your rate. We are not your friends, leave out the personal details..
Be nice to your insurance agents... the job doesnt pay enough. Maybe save your stories for all the people who are already miserable in your life. Probably from your stories.
I need to open a shoe store. All shoes would cost an arm and a leg. Then I’d only have to sell one shoe at a time, thereby doubling my already enormous profit margins.
Dont be mad because you didnt think of it first.
I’ve decided the person who thought up the concept of the "gift certificate" was a devilish prankster.
Gift certificate: money you can only spend in one place. I fail to see how this idea improves our quality of life.
thats what im screaming...
Talk about appauling, someone at work went into my lunch bag the other day...I had a lunchable in there...you know those little packets...with the individual crackers and cheese and turkey or ham or whatever your preference....
Yep, those things..
.. anyway I go to get the pack out and it was opened already with the little turkey slices eaten out of it. Everything else was left but not the turkey!! Who even does that? Seriously? Why not just take the whole thing.
-I’m pretty sure it was the life insurance guy that comes in every once in awhile...I have a feeling.
Dont steal, its so not nice!
Nah..thats a little dramatic.
I'm fairly sure that I have now wasted enough of my time and yours that we will never be able to get back with my thoughts.. ever.. so lets hope it was atleast worth it.
Til my head spins in circles again,